Christ the King Sunday and Gospitality

The Feast of Christ the King is this Sunday- where did the year go!!

This marks the end of our liturgical year- our New Year’s Eve as Christians. When I ran the religious ed program, we actually HAD a New Year’s Eve party on Christ the King Sunday. I wanted the children to see how we must live in this world… but that doesn’t change the fact that as Christians, we see the world a little differently than others do.

Pet peeve of the day: pew-end huggers.

Beginning this Sunday, our churches will be more full… at least until January. Believe it or not, rather than scowling at the CHREASTERS sitting in "your" pew, you should be welcoming them. We really do want to keep them coming back! (If you don’t want them to come back, see HERE)    One of the best ways to NOT welcome people is to sit at the end of your pew, refusing to move as someone looks for a seat.

All the parishes in Lima fill the same way: aisle and side seats first, then the latecomers must climb over the pew-end-huggers to get a spot. Seriously- think for a moment of just how rude that is!!! 

Granted- there are legitimate reasons to sit at the end. Off the top of my head: over-active bladder, fussy child, or perhaps you are lectoring or an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion (the ONLY Eucharistic ministers are Deacons, Priests, and Bishops…but that is another blog entry). Getting out quickly after Mass doesn't qualify!  

  

I went to my home parish in Cleveland two Sundays ago, got there half an hour early and picked a spot- in the middle of the pew.    Then I saw Dick and Laverne Hajduk come in and sneaked into the pew behind them as a surprise. I was still sitting away from the end.  Because I had left space next to me, a woman who was by herself sat next to me.  The Cleveland Diocese does things a little differently, and I follow the GIRM regarding Mass postures (even in Lima) - so it was obvious I was a “visitor.”  At the Sign of Peace, she asked if that was the first time I had been there…hardly! I lived across the street, grew up there, confirmed there, married there, buried my step-father from there.   But she had hospitality exactly right in a way people around Lima just don’t get. You don’t need to get all up in someone’s face, vigorously shake their hand and pat them on the back to be welcoming. A smile, a question. Yep. She got it right.

She picked up on my silent invitation to sit in “my” pew, and instead of each of us worshipping alone, we worshipped together. Unless you have ever gone to Mass alone in a parish to which you do not belong, you won’t understand that.

Hugging the end of the pew and making people crawl over you says nothing less than, “This is my spot. I was here first. And you aren’t worth the effort to move.” When you say that without words and then turn to the person next to you with a hearty WELCOME when instructed to do so, it comes off fake. Cold. Completely meaningless. Which it should, considering how you just treated that person.

 When you get to church, pick a pew- then sit in the middle! You are being welcoming without saying a single word. You are indicating that those seats are available and you just might actually meet someone NEW and be sincere when they do the silly "welcome the person next to you" bit…instead of “welcoming” the people who rode to Mass in the same car you did.

When I used the word “hospitality” a few paragraphs back, I accidentally typed “gospitality.”  Corny as it sounds, the word rings true. Hospitality is something I learned in Miss Mundhenk’s 8^th grade Home Ec class. It is a pre-defined way of making people comfortable according to societal norms.

Gospitality is from the heart. It sees a standing-room-only church on Christmas Eve and thinks, “How wonderful!” It seeks unfamiliar faces to wish a Merry Christmas…and it makes room at the end of the pew so as many people as possible will feel welcome to sit there.

If they don’t feel welcomed to sit in a pew at the Christmas Eve Mass, don’t count on them being back for New Year’s Eve Mass.

An Apology from Mother Nature

I have a reputation, and I have let everyone down.It seems an apology is in order. My family started pointing out my failing a couple weeks ago, but when a priest came out and mentioned it to me last night it really hit home.

I'm sorry, it is all my fault.

I am responsible for the lack of "spring" in these parts.

Some of you know why, and can have your chuckle; I promise- I will work on the weather. The rest of you who think I am off my rocker can read on.

It started innocently enough, in 2000. June 21st, to be exact. Tim and I were planning a 15th wedding anniversary party for that weekend, complete with renewal of our vows and about 50 people at the house. My father-in-law, Charles, had been visiting us for a few weeks and had decided to extend his stay to be with us for the party.

June 21st was a Wednesday; Tim and I walked out the front door to do a walk-around and plan the yard work we needed to accomplish for the party on the 24th. Our home faces north, so the front elevation doesn't get a lot of light. Because of that, my daylilies in the front beds don't bloom until well into July. Knowing I wouldn't have time to plant any color for the front of the house, I looked at my lily plants and announced loudly to all of them, " Saturday. I need you all open on Saturday." Tim laughed.

Friday, Tim had to go into the office and I had lots to do. I got up early and ran down to the Lowe's to pick up a few things.While I was in line, Jennifer (all of 11 years old) called my cell phone and told me that there was blood all over the bathroom and Grandpa was in his room, covered in blood. To this day, I admire her levelheadedness at what must have been a terrifying sight for her young eyes. Chalres was admitted to St. Rita's and I spent the better part of the rest of the day with him. I knew he wouldn't be out for the party; that really upset me for two reasons. First, he had changed his plans to be there. Second, when his wife was alive, he wouldn't renew their vows, saying " once is all it takes."  I knew it was because he was a softy...but I was really honored that he wanted to be there with us, given his feelings on the subject.

It was a long night; I went to the grocery and started cutting up all the fruits and veggies for the party the next day. At some point, my garbage disposal blew up.

Yes. Blew up. If you have never had it happen, oh it is quite a treat! All the stuff you put down it ends up spewed all over the inside of your under-sink cabinet, in all its ripe nastiness. Never pleasant, and especially not when you are hosting a party in a few hours. I eventually gave up and went to bed, around 3 am.

A few hours later, my mom and friend Nancy (God rest her soul) arrived early. God love them! They both liked cleaning- and their work was cut out for them. I called Fr. Mike and asked him to meet us at the hospital. We would renew our vows there so Charles could be a part of it.

When Tim and I left for the hospital, I looked at the front of the house. The daylilies were in bloom. Every. Last. One. We were stunned.  Renewing our vows privately was a good idea; Tim, Fr. Mike, Charles and I were all in tears. We got it out of our systems.

When we got home, the house was in better shape, and a couple other friends were there to help with food preparation. The party was supposed to be a picnic- I had even hired Chris (God rest his soul), the teen nephew of a neighbor to act as lifeguard so the kids could play in the pool and the adults could be adults. The weather was threatening not to cooperate. We had our  ceremony. My dad finally got to "walk me down the aisle," and our children were our attendants. Emily Rose (all of 26 months) was my bouquet when she spooked at all the people. We started the cookout under gathering grey clouds. My mom wanted to move everything inside; I refused. This party was staying outdoors.

Several times, we felt a few spits of rain, but I looked up and scowled, "Oh, no! You are NOT going to rain on us." And it stopped. Around 9 pm, the last of the company who was leaving left. The weather had held.

Suddenly, the heavens opened and a deluge of biblical proportions began. Tammy was headed north on 75 and had to pull over because she couldn't see the road. The roof of our sun room began to leak profusely. It rained so much that our pool overflowed.

But it didn't rain on our anniversary party.

The following week was Tim's 20th reunion. Friday night was at a bar on Bagley Rd. They have a covered patio, but we were chased inside by a downpour. The next day was supposed to be a family picnic- with an 80% chance of rain. You read that correctly- 80%. Tim said, "Don't worry- Irene will take care of it."

At the picnic, it was like the party: it would sprinkle, I would look up and say, "No," and it would stop. It happened a few times and got to be rather funny. The picnic beat the weather.

That's is how it started, and my family has never forgotten it.

I get requests for snow days, nice weather for weddings and parish festivals (from more than one parish), nice weather (not too warm, no rain, light wind) for Positive Addiction and half-marathons. When Robert's 8th grade class went to DC, the forecast was for rain all week. I began praying about it. It DID rain- but only when they were inside! One of the LCC teachers was lamenting a poor forecast for an outdoor event and Steven told him, "I'll tell my mom. She'll take care of it for you." He did. I did. The teacher was floored- and has sent other requests my way. One Angel Food weekend, we saw a massive storm front moving toward Lima, scheduled to hit  around 4am- right when we would be outside unloading the truck. When I got up at 3:30am, I checked the radar and woke up Tim to see it: the storm had split in two and went around Lima! All three of the DC trips I planned for my 7th and 8th graders for the March for Life had perfect, warm weather. In January. Seriously,  We had our coats off.

And while I was writing this, Robert sent me a text: he wants clear skies tonight for the Lyrid meteor shower.

I will not claim a perfect record, but my record is impressive enough that my family has decided that if I make it to heaven, I will be the patron saint of weather requests.

Taking the blame for bad weather comes with the territory, however. When the weather outside is frightful, the children (most of whom are now adults) will ask if I am feeling OK, or if I am upset about something.

And that is the reason for this post: I am sorry.

I have been very distracted lately, lots on my plate. And my prayer life hasn't been what it should be... I have been slacking. I have come to realize over the years of this weather phenomenon that it is one of those Easter eggs God throws me to let me know he is still here, and he is in control. Even though we laugh about it and my family has dubbed me "Mother Nature," we all know- it is the Lord at work.

FOUR TIMES yesterday, my kids- and my husband- complained, "Will you PLEASE do something about this weather?" Then I hear it from a priest, "Can't you do something about this weather?"

OK. Message received. I am feeling kind of funky today, so I can't promise anything for the rest of the week.  But Mother Nature is back on the job. Give me a few days and I promise- spring will be here!


Update:   I took this photo June 24, 2013. The same day as we held that party in 2000. Note there are no buds! One plant does have a single bloom and several buds. But the day of that party they were all in bloom!

 

Just for fun while I take a few days off from the blog!!!! ( Reader participation!!!!)

Check out our OTHER blog at POPECULTURE.NET for a fun "finish the sentence..." post.

I have a paper due Monday, so I need to focus on THAT in addition to all the normal Mom stuff....

Renew Your Faith- Celebrate Holy Week: Part III- Holy Saturday

So, here we are. Lent has ended; today is Holy Saturday.

Way back on Ash Wednesday, we talked about how the purpose of our Lenten sacrifices and practices is to be a better person on Easter Sunday than we were on Ash Wednesday.

So, how'd you do? 

Well, if you are like most of us, not so great some days, better others.

Today is a quiet day liturgically. And it should be in our homes, too. Oh, there's the pre-work for the big Easter meal, last minute stuffers for the baskets, maybe a local Easter egg hunt. But if you get caught up in the bustle you are missing out on the significance of the day.

The tabernacles of the world are empty.
There are no grand Easter candles in their ornate holders.
The red sanctuary lamp is dark.
Even the holy water fonts are dry.

That first Holy Saturday was a day of confusion and profound sadness for the followers of Jesus Christ. And these physical signs are reminders of that. They spent the day recounting how they had failed as disciples. How they betrayed their teacher. How they had abandoned him when he needed them most.

Imagine how awful they felt. It shouldn't be difficult, because we do it all the time, don't we?

We fail as disciples when we can't answer basic questions about our faith. We betray Jesus Christ when we refuse to stand up for the most vulnerable among us. We abandon Christ when we refuse to worship - in the way he asks us to- the one who has given us the life we squander. And we fail miserably when we do not stand up for the teachings of the Lord, by which we have the opportunity to lead others to Christ.

We fail as disciples. Every. Single. Day.

Tonight, in churches around the world, Catholics will gather in darkness and light a fire. And they will ponder again the reason Jesus Christ had to come into this world- and the reason he had to die...because of the sins of each one of us, personally and individually. It is a staggering weight, knowing not only did Jesus Christ die for me- he died because of me.

But we have the advantage of hindsight, hindsight allows us to look forward with hope. We know the rest of the story.

Just as on Christmas Eve, the light spreads through the darkened church as the Light of the World is born- so, too, will our church's glow in the candlelight tonight as we listen to the story of our salvation and as we await the joyous news that the Lord has conquered sin and death by rising from the dead. We will witness people commit their lives to Jesus Christ- renewing our own faith. We will ring every bell in every church and proclaim to the world: Jesus Christ is risen today!

Sure, it's fun to get all dressed up on Easter morning...but the Easter Vigil Mass is the most glorious of the entire year. Don't miss it! In case you missed it, HERE are some great Holy Saturday ideas to put Christ into Easter.

May your Holy Saturday be fruitful and blessed... and your Easter be joyous!

Renew Your Faith- Experience Holy Week: Part II- Good Friday

Nothing I write here can ever come close to helping any of us understand the true magnitude of what Jesus Christ did for us on that first Good Friday so many years ago.

But I can tell you this: When Jesus hung on the cross, his life draining from his body...he thought of you.

Let that sink in for a minute.

He was crucified for your sins.

Are you Pontius Pilate?

I used to believe Pilate got a bad rap. He was interested in Jesus, seemed to understand Jesus was somehow....special.

Pilate sought the truth.
Pilate wanted to release Jesus, and stated he found the Lord guilty of no crime deserving death.

Give Pilate a break!

But look again at what Pilate did- or, rather- failed to do. 

Pilate knew the truth- he knew Jesus was guilty of nothing.

And Pilate did nothing to save him.

Now, laying aside for the moment our 20/20 hindsight and knowledge of the scriptures, and that everything unfolded exactly as it was meant to be....think about that.

Pilate knew the truth, and did nothing to stop the evil.

How often do you do that? More often than you think.

"I don't believe in abortion, but I can't make decisions for other people."
"What's true for you isn't necessaritly true for me."
"Well, she's an adult. I can't say anything about what she does."
"It's OK, I'm mature enough to not let this get out of hand."
"What difference does it make if gays marry? I don't agree with it, but it doesn't affect me."
"God understands if I use artificial contraception."

Pilate was a moral relativist, and - thanks to what Pope Benedict XVI called "the dictatorship of relativism"- so is most of society. We've evolved to a place where objective truth no longer exists, everything is relative.

Well, that's a lie. And we all know who the Father of Lies is.

So- next time you find yourself failing to stand up for the truth against the crowd who thinks loud lies become truths, remember....you have company.

Pontius Pilate.

Awesome Things to Do with Kids on Holy Saturday!!

For those of you who don't know me, I have a BIG family. My husband of nearly 28 years and I have 7 (SEVEN) children, the oldest of whom turns 24 next week.

No. No multiples.

Yes. Every one of them was planned....by God. But that is another story for another day.

My point here is that the Easter Vigil Mass was not a part of our family until 1996, when my husband came into the church. We belonged to St Charles at the time, and the RCIA was run by the formidable Sr Mary Johnene Wellman, of happy memory.  (you can read about her HERE )  At the Easter Vigil Mass in 1996, at least 25...yes 25... people entered the Church. That's a lot of baptizing and Confirming. So there I was- 6 months pregnant with child #6, and five children ages 6 and younger....and Daddy on the opposite side of the church. It was not a fun evening for me, especially with Moose (18 months old) thoroughly enjoying dropping the hymnals flat...because he learned they make the most noise that way.

After that, we stuck to Easter Sunday Mass, followed by our special family holiday breakfast and an Easter Egg hunt in the yard (or the family room if it was too cold). It was 2005 (I believe) before we tried again- and that was a Mass that will go down in our family history. We STILL laugh about it... but again- the story will wait.

Naturally, we color Easter eggs on Holy Saturday- at one point ELEVEN DOZEN of them. Good thing I have LOTS of hard-boiled egg recipes!!!  For the record, I have no problem with the Easter Bunny- he is a fun part of growing up, like Santa and the Tooth Fairy. As long as our children know the real reason for the holiday, a fun guy dropping off candy won't doing any harm!

Today I want to give you lead time to plan an AMAZING Holy Saturday with your children- whatever their ages. During those years between Vigil Masses, we developed a set of traditions that we still continue- so we must be doing something right. My purpose was to have the children thinking less about the Easter Bunny than they were about- to borrow a phrase from the Passover ritual- why this night is different than all others.

The Blessing of the First Food of Easter. 

When Deacon Mike was at St Charles, he did this blessing, and for a couple years, we had a priest join us for these traditions ( he blessed our food then). When I worked for St John, I arranged for the blessing. Alas, it is one of those beautiful little "t" traditions that has gone kaplooie in Lima, OH. Thankfully, it is a blessing you can do at home, and without clergy. :-)

The Blessing of the First Food is an Eastern European tradition, stemming from what is called the Great Fast of Lent. During Lent, the people did not eat...get ready.... : meat, dairy, sugar or eggs. Yeah. And you thought going meatless one day a week was rough? Fruits and veggies- and not much else. So, eating those foods on Easter morning literally was a BREAK-FAST. The blessing was not only in thanksgiving, and asking to strengthen bodies through them, but to avoid illness from the shock to the system.

The woman of the home would make a special bread, called a babka or paska, it was very rich ( my recipe uses a dozen egg yolks!) Here's last years...

The babka would go into a basket lined with a special, hand-embroidered linen used ONLY  for the First Food Blessing. Also in the basket: butter, fresh eggs, cheese, meat, a candle, and...the PSANKY ( the amazing Ukranian Easter Eggs). Nowadays, you will also find children bringing their Easter Baskets (with candy) for the blessing, too.

THIS LINK will take you to a simple blessing you can use at home. Look at it ahead of time and mark the scripture passages. ALSO::::::: DO NOT MAKE THE SIGN OF THE CROSS over people or objects if you are not ordained!!!! That is a HUGE no-no, and one many Extraordinary ministers make. That is a priestly blessing- even DEACONS cannot bless by making the sign of the cross over people/objects.  The proper action is to hold your hand over the item/person, then you make the Sign of the Cross on your own person as usual.

THE FAMILY EASTER CANDLE

This is a cool and meaningful project. We did it at St John on Holy Saturday morning ( before the basket blessing) and some St Rose families even joined us.  You need:

A 3" (minimum) diameter pillar candle- preferable white or ivory, at least 6 inches tall
Whole cloves
Sharpie Markers
Scissors
rubber cement
Clip Art of Easter- related pictures:   Victory Lamb, Pelican, Cross, Lillies,  Noah's Ark, etc.  Also phrases such as "He is Risen!," and bible verses. You can find scrapbooking stickers that are appropriate, as well as scrap book paper with ornate crosses at Hobby Lobby.

With the Sharpie, make a cross, then add the numerals for the year and the alpha and omega. like this:

 The cross there is one we cut out from scrapbook paper, but you can draw yours.

Next, GROWNUPS ONLY-- Use the tip of your scissors to start small holes at each point of the cross, and one in the middle. Small holes- you will then insert a whole clove into each hole. These represent the incense. You'll want to dip the clove stem into rubber cement to help it stick.

Now decorate the candle however you like. You can see the one above is a little more simple than this one:

Sadly, neither of these photos shows a pelican, my favorite symbol. Legend has it that the pelican, if unable to find food for her young, will pierce her breast and feed them her blood. GET IT??????

The candle goes in the basket for the blessing of the food.

But THIS is the neat part!!!!!    Whenever you attend Easter Mass ( even the vigil)... light the candle for the first time from the Easter Candle at church. Catch the servers after mass, and they can help you with this one.

Then, light it every family meal throughout Easter season- all the way to Pentecost.....just like we do at church. And just like at church, the candle represents the presence of Christ- the Light of the World- in a special way. Ours stays on the table all year long.

After Pentecost, light it at special times...birthdays...anniversaries...holidays...a special guest at your table...report card day (yes, really!)....or even, just because.   During the liturgical year, the candle is lit for weddings, funerals, 1st Eucharist , Confirmation, ordination....for the really special days.

Start the Family Easter Candle tradition, and believe me- it will be special! And- as a special bonus- your children have leaned something about their faith.

Easter Story Cookies

HERE is the link for the recipe. It is self explanatory. ( This is where I use the egg white from the dozen eggs in the babka!)
Be sure you pre-mark the scriptures...and pre-measure the ingredients. It saves lots of time.

Again- my youngest is FOURTEEN and the kids still ask every year..."Are we making Easter Story Cookies?"

I have also had priests ask me if we were going to make them...and could we bring a couple to church?


So, I hope you have enjoyed reading about some of the Alderman family Holy Saturday traditions...and I really hope you will try at least one of them and that it helps your family experience the joy of Easter in a special way! While you're at it- share the link to this page so your friends can try something new with their children!

Renew Your Faith- Experience Holy Week, Part I: Holy Thursday

In our family, birthdays are never "one" day. Rather, they tend to stretch over two or more days for various reasons: work schedules, out-of-town children, and/or the general busy-ness of 21st century life. Just this weekend, we celebrated GG's 94th birthday on Saturday...and Sunday. You just can't get too much of a good thing.

Our Catholic faith gives us a good example of this. Christmas lasts for three weeks (or longer, depending on the way the days fall). The first Sunday after Christmas is the feast of the Holy Family. The second Sunday after Christmas is the Epiphany, and the third Sunday after Christmas is the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord, formally ending the Christmas Season. Advent- the four Sundays prior to Christmas - are not part of Christmas, despite what society tells us with all the decor appearing around the middle of October. (Click HERE for my blog post about Advent!)

Our celebration of Easter is the same way. Despite all the bunnies and eggs and pastel-colored Peeps surrounding us in retail outlets, we are not in the Easter season, it is still Lent. And today begins the end of our Lenten season: the Triduum. Latin for "three days," it marks our remembrance of Jesus Christ's passion and death...leading up to his glorious Resurrection on Easter Sunday.

The final week of Lent is a time for the most amazing liturgical celebrations of the entire year ( at least they should be!). Palm Sunday, Holy Thursday, Good Friday, ( if you are lucky, you'll get a Tenebrae service) Holy Saturday....all leading up to the holiest season for Christians: Easter. And- since it is so holy- we can't have Easter be just ONE day, or one week. Nope. We get FIFTY days of Easter!!! But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Log on to your local parish's web page. If the parish staff is worth their salt, they should have the homepage-(not the link for the bulletin, the actual HOME PAGE) updated with all the Holy Week Liturgies. The Facebook page and Twitter should be sending out the info every day this week. 

This is what you have to look forward to!

Holy Thursday: Mass of the Lord's Supper.... Probably my favorite Mass of the entire year, because it celebrates the institution of not ONE, but TWO sacraments. That in itself is pretty cool. One of the most moving parts of the Mass is when the priest removes his chasuble and stole and washes the feet of twelve MEN ( YES, only MEN are supposed to take part in this. The ritual specifies VIROS, which is Latin for "men"). If you see women and children up there, it is because the person who made the phone calls deliberately overlooks the sign value of the 12 being men, or simply does not know any better. Anymore, it's probably a little of both- that and the ridiculous press for so-called inclusivity. But the fact is: Jesus washed the feet of twelve MEN, and in doing so instituted the sacramental priesthood by demonstrating the servant nature of the priesthood.

By the way- if you are a man and get a phone call asking you to be one of those twelve, the proper answer is, "I would be honored. Thank you for asking me." NOT, "Oh, I could never do that!"  Remember- Peter did not want Jesus to wash his feet!

As an aside, Pope Francis going to the juvenile prison for the Holy Thursday Mass is so beautiful. His servant heart will be denounced by many.... we are already hearing it.... and others will use his compassion and humility to pass judgment on the Church as a whole and the papacy in particular.... but keep watching him. I have a feeling Pope Francis will set our hearts on fire!

The second sacrament whose institution we celebrate on Holy Thursday is the Eucharist. In this Mass, we recall the first Mass. Imagine, shortly after the multiplication of the loaves and fish, shortly after the Bread of Life discourse in  John 6... being present as Jesus Christ reaches 18 hours into the future and makes clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that the bread and wine become his Body and Blood. It happens at every Mass, and Holy Thursday, we celebrate it in a special way. After Communion should be a Eucharistic procession, taking the remaining hosts to an altar of repose outside the sanctuary. The altar is then stripped of all linens and all plants/flowers should be removed from the sanctuary. Adoration at the altar of repose for at least part of the night should be available. The tabernacle doors are left open to show that it is empty.

Why is it empty?

As a stark reminder of the events that have now been set in place... the last Supper is over. Jesus has gone out to pray- and will soon be arrested- and worse. 

So... open a new window and go to your parish website ( unless your parish actually sent out Holy Week info, ours didn't this year :-(   )   and get that schedule for the rest of Holy Week.

And BOOKMARK this blog or sign up below for updates for the rest of Holy Week and into the East Season!

Enter into the Paschal Mystery, experience the events of this Triduum in a way new to you.